always given what i need when
i need it the most.

there are so many more ways to
show or say how grateful i am.

but please believe me that...
there have been so many times
i have wanted to say more.
there have been so many times
i have wanted to do more.

because you have shown me,
not with cheap words or
meaningless actions...
the true meaning of agape
- the beauty of unconditional love.

that even though love can
sometimes be transient,
it exists, nevertheless.

you have taken me into your arms
full of love, without judgement,
or expectation of repayment,
understood me & not my actions,
given me whatever i needed,
whenever i needed it.

thank you for proving that
for every person that has hurt me,
there is someone who loves me
twice as much.

thank you for showing me that
i am not alone.

there was a time i believed
in no one but myself...
that time has past.

what a beautiful lesson,
at such a painful price.

by this time next year,
things will be different.

b.

by your time,
by your rules,
by your methods,
by your beliefs,
by your thoughts,
by your feelings,
by your temperaments.

do you notice a trend?

i'm slowly losing myself &
you wouldn't even know why.

b.

i felt a connection last night
that was so strong i couldn't deny.
my usually muffled vision was
no longer the case last night.

i could see each curve on your face,
your smooth jet black silhouette,
& your eyes... oh those eyes,
the clearest eyes i've seen
that cut through the darkness.

you came to me, & right away
i knew i wasn't dreaming...
there was a reason you came.
maybe you were there all along,
but last night, you knew it was
the time for us to meet.

you spoke each word clearly,
slowly, with the conviction
i only once had as a child.

i was entranced by you...
those eyes, your whole demeanor
- all i could do, was listen.

& you made, perfect sense...
of me, of it all.

then i slept a beautiful slumber,
traversing on the sacred journey
through my mind, heart & soul...
& i know i wasn't alone then.
you led the way, with your eyes
that could cut through the darkness.

time & time again, i repeat this process.
seeing, meeting, hearing, reasearching,
going "oooooo" & "ahhhhhh" all over again.

when all i should've done was trust
what i already know i can do.

thank you for walking a piece with me.

b.

i'm throwing caution in the wind,
- let me rephrase that...
i've thrown caution in the wind.

my questions aren't answered,
but those questions don't seem
to matter to me anymore.

it all seems so new, so novel...
& everything else just seems
too far away, too long ago.

is this pure recklessness?

or is this faith?

b.

you crash & you burn,
you twist & you turn,
you live & you learn.

round & round the
merry-go-round.

b.

it creeps up on you in
the silence of the night,
whispers in your ear,
it beckons, it summons.

it all sounds too familiar.
you strain your ears to listen.
is it saying what i think it is?
is it what i think it is?
is it who i think it is?

curiosity gets the better of you
time after time, night after night.

you awake from your trance...
you know you've just been trapped.
all for the 2,005,211,391,913th time.

you struggle to break out
of its bittersweet embrace.
it takes too much out of you,
don't you know it takes too much?

you think:
next time, next time i will be smarter.

but next time comes & goes,
you find yourself here again.

don't you ever sleep boo?

no, maybe not.

b.