Tuesday, January 31, 2006

maybe i was wrong about all the things you felt.
maybe i was wrong about all the things you've said.
maybe i was wrong about all the things you've done.
maybe i was wrong about all the things you've thought.
maybe i was wrong about all the things you've promised.
maybe i was wrong about all the things you've "given" me.
maybe i was wrong about all the things you made me feel.
maybe i was wrong about all the things you made me think.

maybe i was just wrong about all the things, everything.
maybe i was just wrong about... you.

trust is not a right, it's a privilege & maybe, just maybe,
i've given that privilege away too many times in my life
despite my seemingly non-existant good sense.
the walls around my heart should be higher.
the membrane in my ears should be thicker.
the alarm bells in my head should be louder.
my eyes should be trained to be sharper.
my heart should learn to beat slower.
this high-distinction graduate...
should just strive to be smarter.

all the choices we've made in our lives.

i will not roll over & play dead.
not even for you. or you.

life. love. fate. choice.

b.

my everything & nothing at 1:29 AM |a

Sunday, January 29, 2006

gong hei fatt choy everyone!

yes, it's been a while since i've last written,
& no, i haven't fallen off the face of the earth.

i just spent the last few days at the girl's place.
doing fuck all, eating & watching the l word...
a pleasant change & a nice start to a new year.

many many pictures to upload.
expect a visual explosion soon!

b.

my everything & nothing at 11:10 PM |a

Monday, January 23, 2006

it's starting to look like one of those days
you should never even have woken up for.

b.

my everything & nothing at 12:13 PM |a

a birthday wish.

every year we close our eyes,
we hope our biggest hopes,
we want our extravagant wants,
we dream our impossible dreams,
or we long for our desires...

you blow out the candles,
as i blew out mine.

...difference is,
i opted to be simple this year -
all i wished for is to be happy.

you smile at your friends & family
as you pose for "you-&-cake" pictures,
or as they hand you a knife...

but deep down inside, you wonder:
do birthday wishes really come true?

b.

my everything & nothing at 5:23 AM |a

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

no new pictures to show this time -
the one downside of being happy
is the weight that shows on your face.
the girl is already complaining
about the few extra pounds.

looking back at my negativeimperative,
i read, i remembered, i relived it,
i cried, i laughed, i wondered,
i thought about it long & hard...
all things said & done.

this is your new life...
i can't help but agree
with the girl on this one.
too long ago, too far away.

in the last 17 days of 2006,
it has taught me that happiness
is one of the things in life that
is truly a privilege, not a right.
i am grateful for every millisecond
that has passed me by this year.
for my family, good friends,
good times & of course...
the girl.

there're so many things i want to say.
but i won't, there is no point...
not anymore, anyway.

b.

my everything & nothing at 12:50 PM |a

Friday, January 13, 2006



b.

my everything & nothing at 1:57 AM |a

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

god, please save us from our digicams.
forgive us for not having the strength
to fight the temptation of the flash
& to resist being trigger happy.

please forgive our cam whoring ways.

amen.



details of the big boo-thday bash
will be up soon! ;)

*note to self : find liver donor.

b.

my everything & nothing at 3:30 PM |a

Sunday, January 08, 2006

i thoroughly enjoyed our quiet night in.
i just want to fall asleep on the couch
& you can have a book in your hand...
& me in your lap.



b.

my everything & nothing at 3:38 AM |a

i've always described my life to be a song,
or a word, or a picture, or a good movie,
or a favourite line of my favourite song.

but i've come to realise that a part of
that song, or word, or picture, or movie,
or favourite line has faded.

so tell me, what really happens
when a part of you dies...
& you can never find it again?
when you are neither that song,
nor that word, nor that picture,
nor that movie you've watched
five times over & never sick of?
nor that favourite line from
your favourite song?

last night i was sitting in a spinning taxi,
with trouble breathing to top it all off.
& i swear my life flashed before me...
& there it was, my one defining moment.

everybody has that one defining moment...
for everything that has past in their lives.
the one defining moment when you...
decide that you will smile, not cry,
stand your ground or retreat,
choose to love or to hate,
chose to stay or leave,
stop or continue,
live or die.

b.

my everything & nothing at 2:18 AM |a

Thursday, January 05, 2006

a distant memory of a birthday
from a not so distant past.



so here's to you ernest, i miss you.
& god only knows how much i've
thought of you in the last year.

b.

my everything & nothing at 11:49 AM |a

another deadly sinful night...
may god bless my poor pickled liver.




got up to a fresh, healthy, fun day of wakeboarding
(albeit the rain & chills)... with the girl, my faithfoo
& her friend, elaine, in my sad attempt to redeem
myself for last night.




*the girl :
thank you for painting a smile back on my face
just when i thought i'd forgotten how to smile.
thank you for dragging yourself out of bed just
to wakeboard with me, travelling from ulu-pandan 1
to ulu-pandan 2. you were a trooper today & i'm so
so proud of you, you wakeboarder you! xoxo


*my faithfoo :

thank you for my presents, for the company, the love,
the concern, the care... & thank you for never failing
to wish me the best in my life even when i've failed to
do so for myself.

will you light my candle?

b.

my everything & nothing at 2:03 AM |a

Sunday, January 01, 2006

just a few pictures from a good night
to start off a good new year.

by the looks of what happened last night,
how can i possibly not have a smashing '06?!






*note to self: alcohol is evil.

b.

my everything & nothing at 3:46 PM |a